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From the Cradle to the Grave
Adolescent : a teen who behaves like a baby if you don't treat them like an adult
Adult: a person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle
Baby-sitter: a teenager who must behave like an adult so that the adults who are out can behave like teenagers
Bottle feeding: an opportunity for daddy to get up at 2 am too
Childhood: that wonderful time of life when all you need to do to lose weight is take a bath Richard Zera
College: the four year period when parents are permitted access to the telephone
Dating: for males: trying to have sex; for women: trying to find a rich prince to marry
Education: that what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school Albert Einstein
Father: a banker provided at birth
Friend: a person who knows you well, but likes you anyway
Grandchildren: God's reward for parents who survive
Grandparents: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right
Grave: a resting-place for the dead while waiting for an archaeologist
Honeymoon: a vacation a man takes before beginning work under a new boss
Love: temporary insanity curable by marriage Ambrose Bierce
Man: a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained by women to do most things Jilly Cooper
Marriage: Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Teenager: a person at an age at which he is certain to never make the same mistakes as his parents
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