Christmas Jokes

Přečtěte si krátké vtipy týkající se Vánoc a vánočního období. K většině z nich si můžete přečíst vysvětlení v češtině, prostě přejeďte ukazatelem myši přes žlutou ikonku.

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Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The Elf-abet!

Q: What's the most popular wine at Christmas?
A: "I don't like sprouts" !

Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?
A: Missletoe!

Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.

Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho.

Q: Where do polar bears vote?
A: The North Poll.

Q: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
A: Ribbon hood.

Q: How does Al Gore's household keep Christmas politically correct?
A: On Christmas morning, they give the presents TO the tree.


Q: What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
A: Sandy Claus!

Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
A: Fleece Navidad!

Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?
A: North Polish.

Q: What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
A: Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

Q: What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
A: Crisp Cringle.

Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A: Snowflakes.

Q: If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?
A: A subordinate claus.

Q: Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A: He wanted to sleep like a log.

Q: Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?
A: Because the angel had said, "No L!"

Q: Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
A: Because it " soots " him!

Q: Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
A: Because every buck is dear to him.

Q: How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer "Olive" ?
A: Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names"


Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.


Q: What's a good holiday tip?
A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

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Další podobné vtipy naleznete ve článku: Christmas Jokes Activity, kde budete mít za úkol vhodnou pointu každému vtipu doplnit sami.

Obtížnější slovíčka z tohoto článku si můžete nastudovat a procvičit zde:
Okruhy slovní zásoby: Christmas Jokes