Dobrý den, chtěla bych poprosit, jestli by byl někdo ochotný si přečíst můj mot. dopis do školy a poradit mi a případně upozornil na chyby. 

> Dear Sir or Madam, With this cover letter I would like to express my interest in the Erasmus + program and it exactly two weeks a work internship in England. My name is … I am eighteen years old. I am a student in high school of pedagogy in … When I heard, that I could apply for an internship, organized by my school in cooperation with Erasmus +, I was excited. I see it as my chance to look somewhere else than in the Czech Republic and get experience abroad. So far I have not had many opportunities to leave the Czech Republic, because I live only with my mother and it is very expensive for her to allow me to travel a lot or a far away. That is why, I appreciate this opportunity. Attracts me to travel, I like learning new things. After finishing my study, I want to live abroad, so I think that even in this direction would help me program. I like possibility that I can to travel and work, for example, as an au pair. Working with children makes me happy, I would like to work with children even outside the Czech Republic. The internship should be in London, that is another reason, why I raised my interest. London is city of my dreams since childhood. As a city I like it incredibly and I wish to go there, learn about the history of London, sights and London’s inha­bitant. And most major improve my English, gain experience in speaking English speech. I am sure that practicing is the best way how learn English and speaking is a great for that too. I love English, I care about improvement. My study I would like to finish graduation in English. And therefore I welcome every opportunity to practice English and determine my weaknesses. I am a hardworking and reliable. Punctuality is not problem for me. I am not afraid to challenges. I love children. I am a social type, I am not afraid of meeting people. This I see as possible pluses for selection. It would be an honour for me if I got a chance. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to your answer. Yours faithfully,

1. and especially the two-week internship (work experience) in England
2. I study at high school of pedagogy (zní IMHO líp)
3. When I heard that (bez čárky před “that”)
4. for an internship organized (opět bez čárky)
5. I see it as a chance to go abroad and get experince
6. …because I live only with my mother and we can't afford to go abroad very often.
7. That is why (bez čárky)
8. I like travelling and learning new things
9. Once I finish my studies, I would like to live abroad, so I think I could use experience with this program
10. I like (or “consider”) the possibility of travelling and working as an au-pair (čím méně “for example”, tím lépe)
11. …reason why I became so interested
12. London has been a city of my dreams… (protože od dětství až do teď)
13. As a city,… (tady pro změnu čárka je)
14. …and I hope I will get to go there thanks to this program
15. Especially, I would like to learn about the history of the city, sights, and the people's habits (or “way of thinking”)
16. The most important thing is improving my English, of course. I bet that this course will do my English a lot of good. Later, I would like to graduate in English (do tohoto jsem sloučil vše od Vašeho “and most major” až po “graduation in English”)
17. And therefore (or “that is why”), I…
18. …to practise English
19. I am hardworking (bez členu, je to příd.jm.)
20. I don't have trouble being punctual
21. I am not afraid of challenges
22. These can be things going for my selection
23. …if I got the chance

• program and it exactly two weeks a work internship in England. – této větě nerozumím..

..I heard, that I could apply for an internship, organized by my school in cooperation with Erasmus.. bez čárek

I am a student at high school of pedagogy..

The internship should be in London, which is another thing that boosts my interes – třeba tak.

As a city, I like it incredibly very much
London has been city of my dreams since my childhood.

Attracts me to travel, I like learning new things.

I am attracted to travelling, nebo I enjoy travelling..

I am sure that practicing is the best way how way to learn English and speaking is a great for that too

so I think that the program would (could) help me even in this (that) regard.
Pozor na pořádek slov.

Dál už jsem to kontrolovat nevydržel, sorry, třeba se toho ujme někdo jiný a tu opravu dokončí.

Těch chyb je tam opravdu požehnaně , chtělo by to přepracovat úplně celé a hlavně si zopakovat základní i pokročilejší gramatiku. Můj názor je ten, že s tímto byste dobrý dojem neudělala.

Doufám, že jsem Vás tím neurazil ani neodradil.

EDIT: Dan byl rychlejší.

Proč by IT mělo vypadnout? I see it as a change..je dobře. Možná snad překlep.

Překlep . Děkuji, opraveno.